(the Archie daily comic strip, 5/24/2011) Those punk kids these days with their Kathy Perrys and Gaga Ladies and Richard Rosses… What is the world coming to? Recommended listening: I never felt so much a’ like a’ like a’ like ‘a… In case you were wondering about the lack of updates lately, I’ve decided to [...]

(from What If…? v1 #38, April 1983; by Rick Margopoulos, Dan Reed & Mike Esposito) PRO TIP: Remove all studs and piercings before reaheating leftover punks in your microwave. Recommended listening: Then more than ever. (With thanks to Bully, the Little Stuffed Pogo-dancer.)

(from New Teen Titans v2 #33, July 1987; by Paul Levitz, Erik Larsen & Romeo Tanghal) Toss in a couple of vaguely contextual Bible quotes and you’d have the makings one bitchin’ Jack Chick tract. Recommended listening: Keep your hand on the stick at all times.

(from Scare Tactics #7, June 1997; by Kaminski, Williams & Lanning) I saw a dead punk idol shooting smack in the alley behind Seditionaries. And his hair was spiky. Recommended listening: Idolatry? No. Pity? Yes.

(from Secret Wars II #2, August 1985; by Shooter, Milgrom, Leialoha & Rubenstein) Boooooooooooring. Recommended listening: Not boring.

(from Marvel Fanfare #20, May 1985; by Jim Starlin & Al Milgrom) James Fenimore Cooper’s Studs ‘n’ Leatherstocking Tales, featuring Natty Punko. Recommended listening: Give a hoot.

(from Batman: The Cult #3, 1988; by Jim Starlin, Berni Wrightson & Bill Wray) There are some folks out there who’ll tell you Batman: The Cult is a profoundly terrible comic. They are wrong. There is nothing profound about this misbegotten piece of shit. Recommended listening: Change the channel, please.

(from Ronin: Book Two, September 1983; by Frank Miller & Lynn Varley) Ronin becomes a lot less impressive after one realizes the working title of the series was “Frank Miller Spent a Long Weekend Reading Lone Wolf and Cub and Akira.” Recommended listening: Beg for it.

(from Tales of the Teen Titans #48, November 1984; by Marv Wolfman, Steve Rude & Al Gordon) Did he who made the tyger make thee? Recommended listening: It’s wild and wooly.

(from New Teen Titans v1 #27, January 1983; by Marv Wolfman, George Perez & Romeo Tanghal) Whose bright idea was it to remake Midnight Cowboy with Todd Bridges and Ricky Schroder? Recommended listening: Up your ASBO.