(from Scare Tactics #7, June 1997; by Kaminski, Williams & Lanning) I saw a dead punk idol shooting smack in the alley behind Seditionaries. And his hair was spiky. Recommended listening: Idolatry? No. Pity? Yes.

  (from a February 1981 ad for Hostess Fruit Pies) Seriously, kids, I don’t think I’m ever going to top this one. Recommended listening: You’ll get a big delight in every bite! (A big thanks to Brandon “Bad News” Dawley for bringing the goodies!)

(from Hopeless Savages #1, August 2001; by Jen Van Meter & Christine Norrie) The first miniseries was a fun read, if a tad too “Oni” at times. It went careening downhill from there, though. Recommended listening: Kids these days, I swear…

(from Sonic Disruptors #2, January 1988; by Mike Baron, Barry Crain & John Nyberg) “Steer clear of the Failed State of Third Wave Ska, son.  It’s like Mogadishu, but with soul patches and trombones.” Recommended listening: The state of disunion.

(from The Big Book of the ’70s, 2000; by Jonathan Vankin & Hunt Emerson) The only off-model band that mattered. Recommended listening: Take a wild guess.

(from MAD Magazine #199, June 1978; by Larry Siegel and Harry North, Esq.) On one hand, MAD Magazine‘s 1978 “Punk Rock Group of the Year” feature is a fascinating and (mostly) visually accurate glimpse at the early punk rock scene. On the other, it established a precedent of facile gags that set the tone for countless mainstream depictions [...]

(from Dick Tracy Meets the Punks, 1980; art by Rick Fletcher) From the creative team that 86′ed Moon Maid because she was “too silly.” Recommended listening: I don’t know how much more of this I can take.

(from X’ed Out by Charles Burns) I’m glad someone finally had the stones to give Paranex his three-chord due. Recommended listening: More of an isolated case than a global pandemic. (Thanks to Dave Lartigue for the tip-off!)

(from Sins of Youth: Secret Files and Origins #1, 2000; by Jay Faerber, Norm Breyfogle & Scott Koblish) Limbo — a.k.a. the artist eventually known as Goth — demonstrates how deep his failure of imagination runs. Recommended listening: Why settle for weak imitations?

(from Firestorm #54, December 1986; by Paul Kupperberg, Michael Bair & Bob Smith) The saddest thing is that I knew some scenesters who would have eagerly dropped a hundred bucks on a bat-winged cowl back in the day… Recommended listening: Claiming yet another victim.