(from What If…? v1 #38, April 1983; by Rick Margopoulos, Dan Reed & Mike Esposito) PRO TIP: Remove all studs and piercings before reaheating leftover punks in your microwave. Recommended listening: Then more than ever. (With thanks to Bully, the Little Stuffed Pogo-dancer.)

(from What If…? v2 #13, May 1990; by Kurt Busiek, Vince Mielcarek, Ian Akin & Brian Garvey) It was bound to happen once Professor X cut funding for the Institute’s midnight basketball program. Recommended listening: A warning to some, a business model to others. (With thanks to Bully, the Little Stuffed Pogo-dancer.)